I'm Bad Jokes McFuck

cheeso: david attenborough: [to dramatic orchestral score] this is the biggest north-facing...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:33:05 -0400

david attenborough: [to dramatic orchestral score] this is the biggest north-facing sandstone incline in the World… and there is a very special Bug who lives here
me: wow

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Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:32:54 -0400

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Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:32:46 -0400

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Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:32:35 -0400

rebeliousyo:

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:32:25 -0400

rebeliousyo:

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Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:31:12 -0400

neilnevins: Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:30:13 -0400

neilnevins:

Had a dream that McDonald’s had a big ad campaign that just said “WE HAVE IT” in black cryptic writing. So I went to a drive thru and said “I saw the sign. Can I have it” and the speaker was silent for a solid ten seconds before saying “do you think you’re ready” in my voice and I screamed and drove away

redhead4eyes: paper-storm: Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:30:00 -0400

redhead4eyes:

paper-storm:

Australian comedian Jim Jefferies points out the ridiculousness of American pro-gun arguments. x x

Welp

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Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:28:01 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:(via axolotlcuddles)

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:27:35 -0400

tastefullyoffensive:

(via axolotlcuddles)

thatnordicguy: thatgirlonstage: marlowehoe: star-anise: wei...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:27:05 -0400

thatnordicguy:

thatgirlonstage:

marlowehoe:

star-anise:

weightandsea:

positive-memes:

Using unwholesome language to keep your show wholesome

Awwwwwwww

As well as swearing, they also use brand names,

This must be the definition of chaotic good honestly

Honestly it would probably also help me stop crying if there was a lady standing next to me shouting “Nike! Adidas! Tastykake! Gucci! Google! Pringles! Fuck, I’m blanking shit shit shit fuck shit just keep swearing shit shit COMCAST”

me: *crying over croisants*
two british ladies: *chanting* CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT

girlschasinggirls: allystruggles:Having to listen to Lana Del Rey in your gay friends’ cars and...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:26:37 -0400

girlschasinggirls:

allystruggles:
Having to listen to Lana Del Rey in your gay friends’ cars and pretend it doesn’t sound like an old man trying to read a poem on his deathbed

this is homophobic

dicksoda:Me trynna jerk off: thinks about having super powers* Me @ myself: this isn’t sexy man,...

Mon, 25 Jun 2018 19:25:36 -0400

dicksoda:

Me trynna jerk off: thinks about having super powers*
Me @ myself: this isn’t sexy man, focus

godlessondheimite: caffeinewitchcraft: tiger-in-the-flightdeck: spillsnchills: When a character...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 09:30:43 -0400

godlessondheimite:

caffeinewitchcraft:

tiger-in-the-flightdeck:

spillsnchills:

When a character doesn’t realize they’ve been, like, shot or whatever and they hand brushes against their side and comes away wet with blood, and they’re just staring at it like wtf is this and then their knees just totally give out on them and they sink down, maybe gasping a little as the reality finally hits them. That’s good stuff.

I see that, and raise you a character who knows they’ve been shot, but waits until the rest of their crew is out of sight to put their hand against the slowly spreading stain of blood on their shirt, then trying to steady their breathing so they can follow without letting on how injured they are.

Okay but like the character who doesn’t realize they’ve been hurt trying to see if everyone else is okay only to slowly realize that everyone is looking at them with mounting horror. Then they touch their side to find it’s wet and oh no

character who’s been shot through the heart and you’re to blame you give love a bad name

pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird: We did it. We’re finally free.

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 09:26:55 -0400

pippenpaddlopsicopolisthethird:

We did it. We’re finally free.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: systlin: dracota: roastedduck: fur-bies: i let the furby skins soak...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 09:26:48 -0400

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

systlin:

dracota:

roastedduck:

fur-bies:

i let the furby skins soak in fabric softener after i washed them and my sis found them and sent me:

and i have never laughed so hard x’D

never do i ever want to hear the words “furby skins” uttered ever again

You never peeled a furby?

What the absolute fuck

STOP AT ONCE

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Sun, 24 Jun 2018 09:26:33 -0400

pangur-and-grim: cleverest-lesbian: pangur-and-grim: once...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 09:26:22 -0400

pangur-and-grim:

cleverest-lesbian:

pangur-and-grim:

once more, Pangur has no idea what her future holds

please op i’m begging you for an update

that future….is now the present

(the rest of this shoot’s up on my “I Will Make Pangur Wear Hats, And Will Pet Her Lots To Make Her Not Angry With Me Afterward ” patreon)

sindri42: celticpyro: camalilium: sageayanna: kofangel: poink...

Sun, 24 Jun 2018 09:25:24 -0400

sindri42:

celticpyro:

camalilium:

sageayanna:

kofangel:

poinko:

jasoncanty01:

superllama42:

superllama42:

champagne-zaddy:

fabulousjessie:

I found a Pokemon book at Toys R Us and…

This took a dark spin and I wasn’t ready

I looked this up and by “bike gang” they apparently meant literal bicycles.

Upon further research, James was in the same gang and had to use training wheels.

I was at first going to say “I thought every one knew this” and then I remembered “Duh Not everyone is as old as me… “ T_T god I’m old.

Dont gloss over the part where she also went to nursing school to become a Pokemon Center Nurse. She flunked out but made best friends with a Chansey! Basically everything in that blurb has happened at some point in the anime

I don’t think the thing with her mom was though, that was released as a radio play. Madame Boss (Giovanni’s mother) Sent Jessie’s mom (in Japan known as Miyamoto) and tried to convince Mew to let her catch it by showing it a picture of Jessie

CAN WE FUCKIN DITCH ASH AND MAKE THESE 3 LOSERS THE MAIN PROTAGONISTS

So… the reason why Giovanni keeps Jesse around is because his mother ruined Jesse’s life by taking away her mother, and he feels guilty about it?

It actually kinda makes sense,

I can’t believe Mew fucking murdered Jessie’s mom

Please, just give me a spinoff series about Team Rocket.

There’s actually a lot of reasons for Giovanni to keep these guys around. Like, they’re really bad at actual crime and basically never turn a profit, so he was understandably pissed at them for a lot of the first couple seasons and revoked their funding a few times, but then? They started to save the world. Every time Ash got into some seriously apocalyptic shit, Team Rocket was there to back him up. And they have been instrumental in society/the world/the fabric of spacetime remaining intact at least a dozen times by now.

Now, Giovanni is not a good person, but he is a practical man. You cannot run a profitable criminal empire when everybody is dead or money has no meaning. And ever since MewTwo escaped there’s approximately fuck all he can do to stop most of the forces intent on demolishing the planet he does business on and, by extension, his business. But all the evidence suggests that if he continues to supply these couple losers with fresh hot air balloons and giant vacuum cleaners every few weeks and then leaves them to do whatever stupid shit they’re doing, the world will remain safe for years to come. And he may not have any clue as to how or why this works, but you do not get to be in control of the most powerful criminal organization in the world by questioning results.

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Sun, 24 Jun 2018 09:22:27 -0400